Financial security may remain a factor, but it is not the determining or only factor, thus turning hypergamy into a modern-day “myth.” Rather than encouraging awareness and improvement, it shifts the blame to a generalized “norm” for women’s behavior.
The concept of hypergamy has become one of the first excuses in a romance and is used as an explanation for any difficulties between a couple. For example, if a woman cheats, hypergamy is to blame. If a man is unsuccessful in love life, hypergamy is again to blame. If women have expectations, hypergamy is again to blame. But what is hypergamy itself?
The term defines the tendency to choose a partner of higher social or economic status, whether consciously or unconsciously. Historically, this phenomenon has been associated primarily with women and their limited ability to achieve economic independence. In times when women did not have access to work or were not independent, marriage was essentially the main way of social and economic advancement. Choosing a “strong” or wealthy partner was not necessarily a matter of preference, but often a matter of survival. Examples include Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and the “Bridgerton” series, which emphasize how important it was for a girl to secure a good husband to help her family climb the social ladder.
If we were to bring it closer to Albanian reality, we could say that hypergamy is present in cases of matchmaking, as a way for a girl to become a bride in a wealthy family. However, the interpretation of hypergamy is distorted. In many online narratives, hypergamy is presented as a norm, which argues that women choose a partner with certain external characteristics, social status and financial success.
This approach completely ignores the complexity of human relationships. Partner choices are not determined solely by income or appearance, but by a range of factors that include emotional connection, communication, values, and compatibility. In modern society, where women now have access to education and are financially independent, the need to advance through marriage has all but disappeared. Instead of a wealthy partner, women are looking for emotional maturity, stability, respect, and a man with shared values and goals in a relationship. Financial security may remain a factor, but it is not the determining or only factor, thus turning hypergamy into a modern-day “myth.” Rather than encouraging awareness and improvement, it shifts the blame to a generalized “norm” for women’s behavior.